It's September now! That's my favorite time of year in the States...here it doesn't have the excitement of season change and back-to-school feel... we're headed out of school soon...but it has still been an exciting time. August was even one of my favorite months! I feel like Justin and I have been spoiled by good friends who have taken us on a skiing trip, and another couple who took us on a weekend excursion to the countryside. Kiwis really do know how to do hospitality and how to show off their country!
The last month has also been a challenging one for my personal growth. I think Justin and I both feel like we've matured 2 years worth in 2 months. Marriage preparation has proven itself to be a challenge.. but a very worthy one so far. I waiver between the feelings of being completely in over my head with decisions, and excitement for all of the new changes to happen! My eyes are being opened to just how much determination and care it takes for 2 people to love one another well for a lifetime. Our pre-marriage counseling has given me plenty to process and work on! Who thought it would be a good idea for a couple planning a wedding to also process such things as children, conflict, and finances:)? I thought those were all things that magically figured themselves out?
I am completely thankful for couples like Phil & Michele who are willing to sit down with J & I to talk about all things marriage. Through our marriage prep with them I've realized that I have a lot to learn about conflict. I realized that as a kid I felt like I never won a conflict so my solution was to never have conflict. Throughout high school and university I saw myself as someone who didn't need to learn about conflict because I could avoid it by being super nice. In a committed relationship... this just doesn't work. Realizing that it's not conflict that tears people apart, it's how we handle (or don't handle) disagreements that leave scars and separation. This actually has been super helpful to me! One night Justin and I had a dispute about cleaning up after guests-- and after we settled it-- I said to him-- wow, I actually can have conflict and still like you all in the same day- this is kinda fun! I'm not sure that it's healthy to find fighting fun-- but the fact that I could get over something so quickly and still like him- huge for me.
There are times like this when (I know it sounds strange but) I feel like my soul is actually learning. Who I am is actually changing. It's such a cool process to see God work in our lives. I hope you experience soul-stretching times like these as well. All my love-- Lacey
Glory
11 years ago
2 comments:
woohoo for marriage counseling!! Stick with it kids!
I am with you Lacey. Conflict resolution was probably the most enlightening part of pre-marital for me too (and Matt). I have always tried to avoid conflict with being nice too, but when it's unavoidable I want to WIN...hahaha, doesn't sound unhealthy does it? But what a great thing to learn about myself. It's my understanding that the learning doesn't stop when pre-marital turns to married. Christ will continue to teach our souls to be holy and more like him for the duration of this journey. Here's to the continued molding of our hearts!
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